Individual Therapy for Healing Your Inner Wounds

  1. Do you dread family time?
  2. Do you feel unimportant and unloved?
  3. Do you feel something is wrong with you?
  4. Are you a people pleaser?
  5. Do you feel like people in your life make you feel guilty or ashamed?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, you might have an unhealthy relational pattern with a member of your primary attachment figure, resulting in childhood attachment trauma. (This is considered trauma in small “t”, or complex trauma, or chronic trauma vs. event trauma like accident, war, death etc.).

Attachment trauma can come subtly.

Your parents can love you and want the best for you, but there may be frequent mis-attunements – not meeting you where you are in your struggle when you need it most. As a result, you may have deficiency in social-emotional skills, frequent shame and guilt (because when we are not met in the “right way”, we interpret it as something is wrong with me), and difficulties in your relationships with people.

This attachment trauma might also result from conflicting values between your family as a result of immigration, violence in the family, high conflict divorces, abuse, physical and mental illness of a family member, addictions, or simply lack of empathy by your family.  As a result of what’s going on at home, you were not emotionally cared for in a way you need, and you have what I often call small “t” attachment trauma. You are often made to feel guilty or ashamed of yourself.  You give away a lot of love. You can only feel good with external validations, and you find love in a way that’s repeatedly not working for you.

I specialize in working with people with attachment trauma.

I help you learn to love and care for yourself. I also help you overcome reactivity to challenging people, so you are no longer living in anxiety and distress. I work with you to develop healthy boundaries, and we will practice the skills you need to improve your interpersonal effectiveness. When you work with me, you will see yourself and your relationships with much greater clarity and, as a result, make choices that are right for you.  I work with many of my patients to feel better around their family and become more effective at addressing interpersonal issues with members of their families and stop feeling like they are stuck in a thick web of tension and confusion. As part of having more ease, we work together to develop necessary communication skills, so you can maintain good relationships with your family without sacrificing your values and priorities.

Bring Joy Back into Your Life

If you are often upset by people in your life or worry about what people think of you, please write me below or call me at 650.397.1376 to see how I can help you. Together, we will help you discover the clarity you need to have a joyful relationship with your family.

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